A lifetime of sadness...or whatever you decide to make it.

Having depression coupled with anxiety is not the easiest hand to play, but it is my hand. Most people just simply say "think positive" or "everything will be okay". If I had the ability to do that as easy as people make it come across, I wouldn't be in this situation. Often I've wondered if mental illness came with physical symptoms or markers like other diseases, if people would treat it more seriously.

One day you can be feeling the best in the world. Smiling more than you have in months. Feeling great about yourself. And then BAM! The downward spiral begins and it is FAST!

So let's stop for a minute. What was it that made you feel so great? Was it someone else praise? Was it recognition? Or a compliment maybe? Perhaps you did well at work or on an assignment for school? All of those reasons are certainly things to feel good about, however they need limits. You can not place all your happiness in those places because when they fail you, and they will, what do you have left?

Happiness must be found in ourselves before anywhere else. Allowing another person or entity to be in charge of your happiness is not healthy. As I've mentioned many times, it all starts with YOU!